Look, nobody’s perfect.

Especially in college football. Not your team, not the way college football decides it’s FBS national champion, and certainly not the boost…I mean administration and search committee…that picks your favorite program’s head coach. 

Not everyone gets the home run hire. Some swing and miss. And even if you do have some success, buyer’s remorse can set in. 

And it can feel absolutely powerless and frustrating that other than lighting up Twitter, there’s not much you can do about who your favorite college football program picks to lead the way. It’s completely normal to be upset your program picked a retread with baggage over a hot prospect coach that would’ve gladly taken your job had you offered…not that that has happened this offseason.

Lucky for you, you’ve got an amazing sports and pop culture website/podcast dedicated to empowering the people. And today, we’re going to do that by telling you who your team should’ve hired.

I’ve thought long and hard about this, and. I came up with four real, factual, and in no way a fake or joking, head coach options. They are as follows:

4.) Coach Ken Carter – Auburn

While he’s more known for his work on the basketball court, in fairness, so is Auburn as of late. The man has a proven track record of caring for his players over wins, which is the complete opposite of the last head coach, who didn’t seem to connect with his players and didn’t win. Carter demands the most from his players, and emphasizes the student portion of being a student-athlete, which is on brand for Auburn, particularly this group of players. This is a scrappy bunch, and that plays well to Coach Carter’s strengths.

PROS: Great molder of men, focus on life after the sport, demands excellence on and off the field.

CONS: Not well-versed in football, if the grades dip around Iron Bowl time and he imposes a lockout, the boosters will run him out of town faster than Harsin.

VERDICT: This program needs a stable force, and a man of virtue. If Coach Carter isn’t an Auburn man, I don’t know who is.

3.) Ed “Straight Arrow” Gennero – Texas A&M

No-nonsense is the name of the game with Coach Gennero, famous for booting All-Americans off teams for violations–and still winning the Cotton Bowl when it was still a big deal to win–brings a sense of honor and dignity to programs. Look at what he did for the Texas State Armadillos in the early 90s; the program, given a fate topped only by SMU’s infamous Pony Express, was made up of only 20-something players. They were beaten, humiliated, and left for dead by the school’s administration, only for Gennero to rally the troops and tie Kansas and knock off Texas. If there’s a Texas program not sharing a name with a side dish that needs a boost right now, it’s A&M. Gennero knows the landscape, he knows how to pare down and get the most out of players, and most of all—he’d come cheap. That’ll come inhandy after a big buyout. Sure he’s older, and sadly, his right hand man Coach Wally Riggendorf isn’t with us anymore, but if A&M wants to right the ship there’s only one man to call.

PROS: Absolutely impeccable moral compass, can build a team out of nothing, will make sure the team performs on the field and off, someone to be proud of as coach, comes cheap.

CONS: Unsure of success without Coach Rig, no patience for nonsense—both with players and boosters—could ruffle some very important feathers, could struggle to adapt to the NIL era.

VERDICT: If Texas A&M wants to right the ship with a coach they can believe in, with players who want to play for love of the game and their school, Ed Gennero will be in maroon soon.

2.) Jimmy McGinty – Stanford

 Sure, Coach McGinty is getting up there (reportedly in his 90s as of press time) but there are few coaches like him. A football purist, McGinty always conducted himself with integrity and class, returning to Washington to coach during the pro strike in 2000 even after being fired by ownership. McGinty took former Heisman winner Shane Falco (an Ohio State standout) from bowl game and first-round bust to a winner, and took the replacement players to a massive win on Thanksgiving Night 2000 against Dallas’ starters. He leads with and cultivates “miles and miles of heart,” and would be a perfect fit for a school that believes in student-athletes. It’s a short-term fix for the sudden departure of David Shaw, but if Bill Snyder could do it for K-State, the Cardinal couldn’t find a better fit. His experience with pros means navigating the NIL should be easy.

PROS: Experience with players getting paid, quiet man of class who believes in underdogs, gets the most out of his players.

CONS: He may be happy in retirement, age may work against him in recruiting, not a long-term solution.

VERDICT: “Winners want the ball.” Give it to McGinty and keep the momentum going.

1.) Ted Lasso – Georgia Tech

Anyone kept up with what Coach Lasso is doing lately? Dude has gone completely out of his comfort zone since leaving Wichita State, and is coaching futbol for Richmond F.C. over in England. And while the team hasn’t broken through to the top of the Premier League yet, the Apple TV documentary has been showing how close that team has gotten simply by believing. Georgia Tech is a program that has been lost in the wilderness for a while, and after stretching himself uncomfortably in a new way in a new sport, GT is the kind of old-school, tradition-rich program that could stand to “believe.” He’s a players’ coach, who cares about people over wins, and in this era, that’s a mighty tool to have. Having professional experience should make navigating the NIL no big deal. And the college game is his bread and butter, having coached Wichita State to a FCS title his last year in the states. 

PROS: Incredible person, genuinely cares about his people, not afraid to go out of his comfort zone, winning college football pedigree.

CONS: Adjusting back to football might be hard, as will leaving his new home.

VERDICT: This could be the biggest hire in Tech history—yes, even with John Heisman on the table. The Ramblin’ Wreck could ride high again with Teddy Tech at the helm. Go get him.